Chaos erupted early Tuesday morning at the Escuela Oficial de Idiomas (EOI) Saïdia in Valencia, Spain, when an unexpected—and highly unusual—group of entities reportedly occupied the premises. Sources confirm the invaders were not terrestrial but rather beings described by overwhelmed security staff as 'small, green, and highly focused on grammar.' The incident has forced the immediate closure of the popular language center, specifically targeting students vying for coveted spots in the English courses taught by the highly sought-after instructor, Vicky.
The initial alarm was raised around 7:30 AM, just as prospective students began queuing hours before registration for the Autumn term. Eyewitnesses reported seeing strange, low-flying craft descending rapidly near the school grounds in the Saïdia district, followed by the swift deployment of the alien contingent. Their primary objective, bafflingly, appeared to be securing enrollment in Vicky’s Intermediate B2 English class.
The 'Vicky Factor': A Battle for Fluency
Vicky, known across Valencia for her unparalleled teaching methodology and near-perfect retention rates, has become an unexpected focal point in an intergalactic conflict. Demand for her classes consistently outstrips supply by a factor of ten, leading to intense competition among human applicants.
"They weren't aggressive, not initially. They just kept pointing at the registration forms and making high-pitched noises that sounded suspiciously like, 'Must enroll! Must master the past perfect continuous!' One of them tried to pay the enrollment fee with a shimmering, pulsating crystal," recounted a visibly shaken security guard, Juan Pérez, who attempted to maintain order before retreating.”
Intergalactic Language Acquisition Goals
Authorities, including local police and specialized units, have established a perimeter around the EOI Saïdia. Negotiations are reportedly underway, though deciphering the aliens' precise demands beyond 'Vicky and English' remains challenging. Preliminary analysis suggests a potential strategic interest in understanding Earth's sociolinguistic patterns, perhaps in preparation for broader diplomatic contact—or simply because Vicky’s reputation transcends planetary boundaries.
- The alien group, provisionally designated as the 'Xylosian Delegation' by a hastily assembled municipal task force, is estimated to number around thirty individuals.
- Their technology appears non-lethal but highly effective at temporarily neutralizing electronic systems, including the school's online registration portal.
- Human students who were waiting in line expressed frustration, noting that if aliens are getting preferential treatment, the system is already broken.
- Vicky herself remains unreachable, possibly due to the high demand for her services extending beyond the known universe.
The Ministry of Education has issued a statement assuring the public that human students will not be disadvantaged by this extraterrestrial intervention. However, parents and students remain anxious. María López, a mother whose son has been trying to secure an A2 spot for three years, expressed her dismay: "If an alien can just fly in and take a place, what hope is there for us? We waited in line for eight hours!"
Diplomacy and Detention
The situation escalated when one of the entities reportedly corrected a police officer's use of the conditional tense during a radio transmission, demonstrating a surprisingly high level of linguistic comprehension, albeit with a peculiar, buzzing accent. Experts are now scrambling to understand whether this invasion signals an aggressive takeover or merely a desperate attempt to secure high-quality tertiary education.
For now, the fate of the EOI Saïdia English courses hangs in the balance, suspended between terrestrial bureaucracy and intergalactic linguistic ambition. The Valencia City Council has convened an emergency meeting tonight to discuss protocols for handling alien enrollment disputes. Until then, Vicky’s classroom remains ground zero for an unprecedented cultural and linguistic standoff.
This article was generated by artificial intelligence and is for entertainment purposes only.